Change the Past

 So, like most writers, I use my life and experiences extensively in my stories and poetry.

You write what you know. That's why my stepdad always told me not to expect to write a bestseller until I was older. 

I have dealt with mental illness since I was a young teenager - and I didn't start to receive treatment for it until I was nearly 20. That span of 5-6 years where my mind wasn't entirely under my control was ... difficult. To say the least of it.

My relationships took the brunt of my instability. I was depressed, which manifested itself (when combined with your typical teenage angst) in isolation, self-absorption, anger, and just straight up not taking care of myself, sad and suicidal, good old fashioned depression.

I lost a really good friend because of this. She put up with my problems for years, until it finally became too much. I didn't know how to communicate very well back then - I was too much a victim in my own head and world. When I finally got to the point where I could recognize my own symptoms and head them off, it was too late. She wasn't willing to let that kind of drama (or what my drama was back then) back into her life. I'm a different person now, but I don't blame her.

Nobody wants to hold on to something that hurts them.

This hasn't stopped me from trying to re-write my past. My main character, Raven, has a lot of my same issues/symptoms. Write what you know. And boy do I know depression - I have lived with it for more than a decade. But in this version of the past, Raven will get treatment before it's too late.

And whenever this topic comes up, I always remember the book 'Atonement' by Ian McEwan. When it's too late for you to manufacture your own happy ending, but you can still write it into existence.

My first book (The Leaves of Autumn) helped me process and deal with some of the trauma from my past. My current book will be a balm to my heart as I try to rewrite the loss of a much-missed friendship. Perhaps I put too much of my pain into my stories, but what can I say? I write what I know.

Reading too Much?

 So I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I got a KindleUnlimited subscription right around the time COVID stuff started happening. 

It was amazing to finally be able to read more than what my library could offer. I was in book heaven...still am, technically. But I'm beginning to feel the repercussions of SO MUCH READING.

Reading indiscriminantly, one book after another, barely waiting an hour before starting another.

Now guys, there's nothing wrong with reading books you love, which allow you to escape life for a little while. There is something wrong with reading books to the point that you don't really get anything else done. Like write. 

Guilty. So, what do I do? I research of course!

And guess what? Reading too much can be bad. *gasp* Younger me is rolling over in her proverbial grave. 

When I was younger, I absolutely HATED thinking of a book I had read, and not knowing what it was called or who it was written by. So I recorded every book I read, along with the date I read the book (for a little while, I even recorded how long it took to read it). It worked pretty well. It was cool being able to look back and say, "Oh, I read X number of books that year." But then I got a little older, and busier, and I stopped.

Fast forward to today, and I've been reading an INSANE number of books lately. While there's nothing wrong with reading, it's getting to the point where I'm calling it like it is - an addiction. I am addicted to reading my books. It's an easy thing to do, since they're all on my phone, free (though not technically, because subscription), and who doesn't have their phone on them nowadays? All. The. Time.

I'm setting a bad example to my daughter. 

What I found, from this article: "Reading is a beneficial activity. But reading too much can also kill your brain's productivity especially when no new meanings are created. If you are simply reading without deeper processing, you don't benefit much from it."

Ding ding ding. Did they write this article about me?? Sigh.

So, okay, I have a problem. I am acknowledging it. Now, to solve it. Another article incoming, "How to read like a writer." Sounds like the perfect thing for me to read. The gist of it is to basically act like you're reading the book for a book club or a book report. 😒 *grumble grumble* Kind of defeats the purpose of mindless reading. BUT I need to fix this. I'm having issues here. A quick look at my Kindle app shows that I read 119 books in 2020. Not bad, right? But I didn't start my subscription, and subsequent reading, until the last day of March. So this 119 books is for 6 months of reading.

How to read like a writer has several suggestions: 

    1. Read one book at a time, reread old favorites, finish books you hate - already do these things, though rereading hasn't been done in a while

    2. Read when you're awake (as in, not before bed) - might need work on that, but I read pretty much 24/7 so I'm not completely hopeless

    3-6. Make notes, ask questions, discuss what you've read, analyze what you've read - all four of these are in my 'book report/club' category. I don't do these things - I'm not even sure I could convince myself to do these things. But it's something to work on.

    7. Read the genre you write, and Read outside your genre - okay, could use work there too.

    8. Finally, track your progress. I don't need to keep track of how many books I read, because reading isn't the issue. It's what I read that's the problem.

All in all, I'm just going to need to take a step back from my phone for a while. Allot a certain amount of time per day/week for reading my easy stuff. Work up some spreadsheets to analyze what I've read, and work on where to go.

Because apparently, you can READ TOO MUCH. *cue sappy sad tears* I will do better, and in doing so, I will write more of my own book. 

Sorry for the ramble guys - it happens. 😉

Introducing characters - how quickly is too quickly?

So after having a friend look through a snippet of my rough draft, she told me that there were too many characters introduced within too short of a time period, and she couldn't keep them straight.

Well, my book might have 9 (yes, holy moses that's a lot) characters. And I'm rather invested in ... oh, all of them. So, now of course my problem becomes how to introduce them all without confusing the reader (that'd be you). 

Of course, that means RESEARCH! I am quite in love with research, and it might lead to a little bit of procrastination...

Anyway, what I found is this:

1. If you can, introduce them a few at a time, slow and steady wins the race. 

2. Give each character a prominent trait/descriptive (NOT NECESSARILY PHYSICAL, as one article mentioned here, cause 'been there, done that') so that they stick in the mind, and repeat it (along with their name) every time you see that character in the next few scenes. Describe, rinse, repeat... okay, maybe that's not how it goes. But you get the gist.

OR, and this one is kinda fun, but doesn't really work with my book:

3. Deliberately confuse the reader. My research referenced the beginning of 'The Hobbit' where Bilbo is confused with meeting 13 dwarves all at once. Granted, I've never read The Hobbit, couldn't get past the lengthy descriptions...but that's neither here nor there, because you get the idea. Right?

Now comes my dilemma -  I'm good with introducing my peeps a few at a time. They get their plot relevant backstory, introduced with 'action' (I think?), and a defining physical trait (oops, guess that's not entirely ideal). But they're all arriving at school around the same time. It's relatively easy to mark a certain point in time when switching POVs. For example - when Cassie arrives at Raven's room, she bangs on the door, girly squealing ensues. Then when you meet Ryder in the next chapter, he walks into the building and hears the banging and squeals in the distance. Easy peasy. But Felicity (Cassie's roommate) runs into Raven and Cassie before I introduce her and she gets her own intro scene.

So now my problem is - 

        A. Do I say "Cassie's roommate" and then later you see Felicity's scene and find out 'oh, that's who that was'? 

            OR

       B. Do I show that little snippet of "Hey Felicity, yadda yadda" and then later get the rest of Felicity's intro?

My research above said that I can "mention a character not present in the scene, before he is properly introduced. Then, when we meet the character, we already know something about them, so it's easier to remember this character as distinct from the others." So I kind of like my option A, which means REWRITING. An author's favorite thing to do. 😅